mardi 4 novembre 2008

Sarah Punk'd, C'est la vie!

By Pistol Tanker Palin

"Hell-oh! This is Sarah, how are you?"

The give-aways she never caught. Unbelievable. Hysterically funny and ter-ri-fy-ing-ly ignorant.

It begins fort, with "Sarkozy" referring to his "special American advisor, Johnny Hallyday," who is none other than the iconic French signer, Johnny Hallyday.

Then, "Sarko" moves on to Palin's brilliantly promising political future:

"Sarko": You know, I see you as a president one day, too!

Palin: [Chuckle of delight] "Well, maybe in 8 years." I just love her humbleness and her modesty, always underestimating her surpassed capabilities.

And, on hunting,

"Sarko": We kill the baby foque, too. [Trans. "We kill baby seals, too."] I just love killing those animals, mmm-mm, taking away a life, that is so fun!

Palin: [GIGGLES. Serious. I am not joking you]

This is how she thinks phone calls from presidents of major world powers go? God help the Republicans who can't bring themselves to vote for a Democrat today.

On foreign relations,

"Sarko": You know we have a lot in common also, except that from my house I can see Belgium. That's kind of less interesting than you.

Palin: [Flattered] Well , see, we're right next door to the countries that we all need to be working with.

"Sarko": Some people said in the last days, and I thought that was mean, that you are not experienced enough in foreign relations, and that is completely false. That's the, the thing I said to my great friend, the Prime Minister of Canada, Stef Carse.

Palin: Well, he's doin' fine, too, and, yeah, when you come into a position underestimated it gives you an opportunity to prove the pundits and the cirtics wrong. You work that much harder --

"Sarko": I was wondering, because so you are so next to him, one of my good friends also, the Prime Minister of Quebec, Mr. Richard Z. Sirois , have you met him recently? Did he come to one of your rallies?

Palin: I haven't seen him at one of the rallies, but it's been great working with the Canadian officials in my role as governor... I look forward to working with you and getting to meet you personally, and your beautiful wife -- oh my goodness! You have added a lot of [the tiniest hesitation here while she decides just what word to use] energy to your country with, um, with that beautiful family of yours!

"Sarko": You know my wife, Carla, would love to meet you, ah, you know even though she was a bit jealous that I was supposed to speak to you today. ha ha ha ha

Palin: ha ha ha ha! Well, give her a big hug for me!

"Sarko": You know that my wife is a popular singer and a former hot top model, and she is so hot in bed, and she even wrote a song for you.

Palin: [but here she doesn't miss a beat!] Oh my goodness, I didn't know that!

"Sarko": Yes, In French it's called the "Rouge à lèvres sur un cochon", or if you prefer in English "Joe the Plumber". [begins to sing]

Palin: Maybe she understands some of the unfair criticism, but I bet she is such a hard worker, too, and she realizes you just plow through that criticism.

"Sarko": I just want to be sure, I don't quite understand the phenomenon Joe the plumber. That's not your husband, right?

Palin: That's not my husband, but he's a normal [wtf?] American who just works hard and doesn't want the government to take his money.

Time out here. Wait a minute. Does she know she is talking to the French president, the president of the country with the world's best, uh, universal, single-payer health care program, La Sécurité Sociale, or La sécu for short?

"Sarko": Yes, yes, I understand, we have the equivalent of Joe the plumber in France, he is called Marcel the guy with bread under his armpit. [lol!]

Palin: Right, that's what it's all about is the middle class and government needing to work for them. [oh my gosh, mon Dieu! Mais, this is the socialism!] You're a very good example for us here.

Oh, Sarah, you know not what you say. Say it ain't so! Or, perhaps I vote for zee wrong candidate for zee people?

"Sarko": Ah, I seen a bit about NBC, even Fox news wasn't an ally, an ally, sorry, about as much as usual.

Palin: Yeah, that's what we're up against.

She's so glad to be understood. Poor Sarah Palin.

"Sarko": I must say, Governor Palin, I loved the documentary they made on your life, you know, ah, Hustler's Nailing Palin?

Palin: Oh, good! Thank you!

"Sarko": That was really edgy.

Palin: [Becoming a wee bit uncertain] Oh-- good.

"Sarko": I loved you, and I must say something, also, Governor, you've been pranked, by The Masked Avengers. We are two comedians from Montreal.

Palin: Oh, [brave girl] have we been been pranked? And -- what radio station is this?

The Masked Avengers: This is for CKY in Montreal.

Palin: In Montreal, tell me the radio station call letters?

The Masked Avengers: CK -- hello? If one one voice can change the world for Obama, one [can't quite get it] can change the world for McCain.

Becky: I'm sorry. [voices in the background] I'm sorry, I have to let you go.

Ouai, c'est la vie.

Et cela?

C'est Johnny.

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