mercredi 1 avril 2009

April's fools

The accused kisser

OC resident and volunteer, our Bev Haut,
and nobody's fool

I peeked my head up over the garden wall, and what I saw was stranger than strange. In fact, it was foul. I wondered if it was:

a) me
b) the world
c) April Fool's Day
d) all of the above

Just consider these tidbits...

Anal poisoning.

poisoning. Yes, Rush opens his as(s)inine mouth again today and warns that "if the British Prime Minister keeps 'slobbering' over President Barack Obama, he'll 'come down with anal poisoning and may die from it.'"

He just makes you so proud to be an American. Perhaps he is unaware that under Bush II, the rest of Europe (which scarcely considers the UK to be a part of it based on their unwillingness to go along with many EU initiatives -- take the Bristish pound stirling, as an example -- that the "real" Europeans can't get over) referred derisively to Great Britain as "the 51st state", and that despite Blair being a Labor Party PM. Didn't hear Rush complaining then, did you?

Didn't think so.

And, a joyful kiss on the President's cheek can result in more reader comments removed and replaced with the statement "This post violates our user guidelines and has been removed" than I think I have ever seen following any single newspaper blog post.

Let's check out those OC Register guidelines...

Comments are encouraged, but you must follow our User Agreement.
1. Keep it civil and stay on topic.

2. No profanity, vulgarity, racial slurs or personal attacks.

3. People who harass others or joke about tragedies will be blocked.

Ooh. It must have gotten pretty ugly because the ones that are left are fairly choice. Locksey says it straight from the gut with such simple, compelling force:
"This story, this experience does nothing but turn my stomach."

At least it didn't make him "barf in his mouth" as it allegedly did another reader.

Poor Debbie, who writes on the Facebook group I'm Proud to Know Bev Haut and I'd Kiss President Obama, too:
"My family and I moved to Southern California a year ago from Massachusetts. I could not believe the backlash this poor women received. We thought we were moving to a 'Blue' State." (Sic)

There should be a sign on the county limits that reads:

"No Place Redder than OC and Damn Proud of It.
The rest of you can get the hell out."

I'm afraid I'd have to do as Obamalover1, who wrote to say:
"I moved my kids out of OC because it is more racist than Mississippi"

Debbie must be thinking "There's no place like Massachusetts, there's no place like Massachusetts..." right about now, as Rush dreams of Senator Ted Kennedy 6 feet under long before President Obama's proposed Health Care Reform passes into law.

And then there's Great Britain Home Secretary Jacqui Smith's spokesperson clarifying the precise nature of the Minister's husband's pay-per-view movie selections, inadvertently claimed on her income taxes:
"X-rated is not the same as porn."

Thank you for clearing that up.

Meanwhile, her husband, quite understandably, "can fully understand why people might be angry and offended by this." Thank goodness there is still a sense of decency among us.

All of this made the actual Daily Candy New York April Fool's piece look downright tame and mundane.

Oh. And then there's the GOP budget.

I'll have to risk sticking my head up again tomorrow and taking a look to rule out answers C and D.

Or, on second thought, maybe I'll just watch my camellia get better.
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